The Media Has Failed

This shit is ridonkulous [sic]. Wasn't the media created to help secure checks + balances? Why have all newspapers become tabloids, and why has news tv become a public broadcasting of the blame game. I want information that will help better my existence – not redundant, biased opinions about issues that I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT.

I was on the elevator the other day and on the little news lcd thing I saw two stats back to back. One alcoholic beverage a day can reduce your risk for heart problems, and two a day can increase your risk for pancreatic cancer. Someone go patent the Beer-and-a-Half pill. Seriously, WHO FUCKING CARES. Omfg can I live mailyfe without knowing about all the shit that is going to kill me? I don't think they are going to hover over my death bed and eye me up and say, "Damn, dude shoulda drank more beerz."